Finding hubby episode 7

And so Oyin Clegg broke out of her depression. Not exactly getting her groove back yet o. And she’s happy, a man might have finally killed the dragon to come rescue her from the dungeon of singleness with his sweetness. See me o, as Ossy is making me wax lyrical. Me that called in sick at work that morning was in a cab enroute the airport, looking all fly, omo toh badt gaan. I wore my favorite jeans, one that made men turn around and take a second look at my behind, and a chiffon top with a hat to match and my very tech specs. I surveyed myself before my mirror for a few minutes. If you can have a tummy like mine at 35 without body magic and lipo, then you are one of the chosen few (some of you will say shebi I haven’t had kids yet, but darris your consign #yimu). Satisfied with what I saw, I called my cab man. I’m one of those that yab people for coming to the airport dressed as if they were going to a Paris runway, but hec, I’m feeling gay and intend to dress every inch so. I tried Ossy’s number again but when it didn’t go through, I kuku sent him a VN, expressing (profuse) thanks and calling him many sweet names I shall not mention to you.

Onto big girl things, I didn’t use any of those painted cabs. My cab man drove a black Honda City, with full blasting ac. With Lagos traffic, caused by unruly drivers, things like Lekki toll gate and the sheer number of we Lagosians that equate owning your own car to a status symbol, the ac is very essential.

After battling mad traffic, I made it to the airport just on time. Thankfully, Ossy had checked me in online and I didn’t have excess luggage, so I just went up, got frisked and went into the waiting area to chill for the next 30minutes for my flight (30mins before is just on time for a flight in Naija). I was so engrossed in the Tunde Leye novel I was reading on my iPad, I didn’t notice her when she walked up to me, until her hands covered the screen. I was about to give it to the person when I saw who it was. And she was the last person I wanted to see.

You know those people that seem to have perfect lives, as against your own. Got into university right out of secondary school when you waited for Jamb for a year. Got a 2 1 while being very popular in school, whereas you had to select which semester you wanted to pass and which you wanted to be social. Has a job just as good as yours. Got married in her mid twenties. Has a fine hubby. Two kids, one boy and one girl. And the person has a way of asking “innocent” questions that are really veiled barbs aimed at you where it pains most. And each time you see her, you are reminded of how much your life is missing. That’s the five foot eight yellow pawpaw standing in front of me now.

“Hi Oyin, so nice to run into you…”

“Moroti, moroti (fake smile from me), how now? Been a while o. where are you headed”.

“My own waka no dey pass UK now. Are you traveling alone? (barb question 1, meaning, hope you have finally found a man)

I responded “Holidaying in Dubai.”

“Abdul is around with the kids o, I left him with them there when I saw you and decided to come say hi”. (Barb 2, meaning some of us have a family we travel with).

We chatted for a bit, and she kept throwing the barbs, until the announcer saved me. Normally, they have to announce like three times before I go and board, but today, before the first announcement was finished, I escaped from Moroti sharply. No goodie two shoes was gonna spoil my mood for this trip.

In no time, I boarded and was glad I had a window seat. On my way in, I had passed one of those agbayas that still dress like Wizkid and Davido wannabes when they’re over thirty. Beats me how a full grown man will want to dress like a boy. Some of them are old enough to be Davido’s daddy o. Anyway, I stowed away my luggage overhead and took my seat.

Not wanting to be disturbed, I looked intently into the window and got lost in thought, oblivious to the goings-on around me.

“Interesting convo with your friend there”, came a thick, rich baritone from beside me, drawing me out of my beautiful thoughts. I turned to see who had such a lovely voice, praying in that breath that the man would match his voice.

Oh my God, yes oh my goodness gracious God. The prayer was answered. Emphatically answered. Resoundingly answered. Beside me was my dream. Taye Diggs complexion. Chocolatey (pronounce Cha-ka-lay-ti ) Even seated you could tell he was tall. Age, I put somewhere in the range of 37 (yes, I have inbuilt age sensors in my eyes). Well put together. Immaculately dressed. Well manicured finger nails. Those dancing, intelligent kinda eyes. Handsoooooooome. Mo gbe, mo ku, mo daran (in Wande Coal voice inside my head).

I straightened up sharply, thankful I had taken care to dress as well as I did. He introduced himself as Yomi Kester-Jacobs. My head did a quick memory search. It couldn’t be the same Kester-Jacobs, Lagos big family (yes I keep well informed of such). And if I wasn’t mistaken, this Yomi was the scion and only son of that family. “Oyin Clegg”, I said calmly, masking the riot of thoughts going through my mind. “So are you really travelling alone?” he pressed. I didn’t have any qualms admitting that to a dashing stranger who seemed alone himself. “Yeah”, I replied. “And you?”

He was alone too. I knew this Yomi to be single, from the tabloids. I asked if he was just stopping over in Dubai enroute elsewhere in Asia and he wasn’t. He was in Dubai for four days on business. I told him I was in Dubai for five days. “Well, it is not good for man to be alone, so says the Holy Book,” he joked, and then offered to be my company in Dubai. I did a backflip in my mind. “Sure”, I said chic-ily.

By the time I landed in Dubai, I had all but forgotten about Ossy. And so began my whirlwind romance with Lagos big boy, Yomi Kester-Jacobs.

Sorry its coming late. Episode eight would be on friday as usual..

Finding Hubby Episode 6

I could not even drink myself to sleep that night. No alcohol could numb my pain and I spent a large part of the night re-enacting the night in my head and adding all sorts of evil things I should have done to Femi as he left. I couldn’t pull myself together to go to work the next day and quickly sent an sms to my boss to allow me take the day off. I stumbled around my house in just my underwear, picking things up, arranging things. I had Adele’s 21 album on repeat. Talk about setting the mood. Men, Femi hit me way way way below the belt. I had mumutized big time.

It was 8:30am when my phone rang. I didn’t bother to pick the phone, I didn’t want to talk to anyone that day. The phone rang a few more times, and I let it ring out. Then my other phone rang, and I knew it had to be someone real close, since few people had that number. I stumble-walked into the room from where I stood in the parlor and checked the caller id. It was Ossy. I picked the call and put the phone on speaker as I flopped onto the bed.

Ossy:     Hey babes

Me:       Hi

Ossy:     Dropped into your office and was told you called in sick. What’s the ish dear

Me:       Yeah

Ossy:     An an! Which one is this monosyllabic mode you are giving me now?

Me:       Sorry

Ossy:     Anyways, open your door, I’m here

Me:       Where?

As an answer, my doorbell rang. I heard it both from outside and through my phone.

Me:       What! (Shriek) You’re at the door. Ossyyyyyyyyy

Okay, lemme tell you about Ossy before you begin to wonder if all my travails have finally left me delusional and I’ve started taking phone calls from an imaginary person. Ossy works in my office. He’s an oga, so Oil and Gas money plenty, dashing dark dude, witty, intelligent and goes out of his way to make me happy. And men, when I say goes out of his way, I mean he wows me steady. Ossy doesn’t hide that he’s crazy about me, and wants me to be his woman.

I’m sure by now you are wondering if I am crazy. Here I am, going through hell and high waters to find a husband, and I have Ossy dying to make me his wife. But I guess that’s the irony of life. Ossy being so available makes him just not desired like that and his sweetness sometimes comes off as desperately dramatic. So he provides the shoulder that I cry on whenever my heart is broken (which is better than having Toke tell me “I told you so” in every gesture), the ears that listen to my tales of woe, and the balm that soothes and heals me. Every time, he hopes; and every time so far, I have run out on him once healed. I know I’m gonna get possessive if he ever wants to marry another girl sha. By the way, Ossy is short for Ositalogbon Onisokame. Each time I consider him, somehow, the thought of going from Oyin Clegg to Oyin Onisokame sort of does a Hulk Smash! And beats all such thoughts to death.

Anyway, back to today. So I put on a boubou and headed for the door. When I opened the door, Ossy’s wide smile greeted me and I couldn’t help but give him a tired smile. “Seems you’ve gone down one cup size”, he said, grinning mischievously. I laughed for the first time since yesterday night. Ossy’s way of telling me I’ve lost weight is to point out that my boobs have become smaller. Nonsense shudren.

“I would say you look like a hot mess, but then you know that already.” He stepped in and gave inglorious me a big hug and I felt safe in his arms.

“First to make sure you add flesh.” He went into my kitchen and began to rummage through my fridge. In minutes, a beautiful aroma began coming out of my kitchen. Ossy came out and changed the music. “No sad women singing about broken hearts for company, only dashing young men”. He slotted in Tu Baba’s Unstoppable album and did some silly dance moves. A few minutes past 9, a sumptuous breakfast of bread and eggs and sausages was ready with steaming coffee. He served me on the couch and I began to break the bread at the edges. As I ate and the heat of the coffee warmed my hands, I began to pour out my woes to Ossy. He listened to me patiently and kept me eating as I spoke.

“Ossy, you want to get me fat and unattractive so no man else will like me abi?” I asked laughing. “Anything to achieve my aims,” he retorted, a sheepish smile on his face too. Somewhere, something tugged at my mind and kept asking me why dependability was within reach and I kept looking for the super duper flyest hubby around. Toke had once asked me if I wasn’t being followed from wherever I am from. Sometimes I wonder so too myself.

The shrill sound of Ossy’s alarm broke into our world and he quickly checked the phone. “Gotta go, appointment at DPR”. My mood took an instant nosedive.

He kissed my forehead and adjusted his tuck-in. Reluctantly, I stood up to go and let him out and waited at the door to hear the sound of his car leave and then dragged my feet to the couch. My house felt empty without now that I was alone. BBs are saviors at times like these. Going through updated status messages (and everyone does that jor) is an easy way to while away such time. I picked my BB up and noticed it was blinking. I had ignored it all morning, so I guessed I had tons of pending messages.

All the usual suspects had sent me messages. My mum. My girls. Kalu (RME) and hawt (as one of the commentators on the blog corrected me) Pastor. Most recent of my chats was one from Ossy. I quickly opened the chat to see what he was saying. I had two pending voice notes from him. I played the first and his voice came through.

“Hey dear. Go to your kitchen and look under your microwave. Do not open the second VN until you do”. He chuckled at the end of the message and I was so totally tempted to open the second one but decided to play along. I ran into the kitchen and lifted the microwave up. My eyes widened when I saw what was there. A return ticket to Dubai and a 5 day holiday package. I quickly listened to the second VN. Ossy’s voice sounded like sweetness now “I think you need that break you’ve been talking about dear. I’m handling your leave already so you don’t need to bother to come to the office. Enjoy your trip. And call me when you get there o. Ciao”.

I stood dumbfounded. How could someone be so sweet? If it was 99% of the men I knew, for such a gesture, they would expect plenty payment in kind. I dialed Ossy’s number but he cut the call and I guessed he was in his meeting already. I checked the flight details. I had only 3hrs to get to the airport. I hummed a tune as I packed up, wondering where in the heavens men like Ossy were made. Maybe I’d give him a chance when I got back from this trip.

Finding hubby episode five

When I turned, Femi had stood up to tower above me, and I found myself searching desperately for something to say. He relished the effect he was having on me and something warned me that this was not the sweet Femi of yesteryears; that he had grown harder and wiser in the ways of the world. Then he smiled and said, “I have missed you Oyin. Ten years, and I’m still single, still without a woman because I carried you into every relationship I had.” What! Alleluia. Somebody say glory! Let the angels proclaim! His words were music to my ears. I was expecting harsh words, but he had opened up to me like this. Oh, I’m gonna make it up to you Femi, I’m going to meet your every need, be your every comfort and we will never be apart again.

I covered the distance between us in a single stride and held him in my arms (I’m proactive ). “Oh God,” I cooed to him, “I’ve missed you so much. I’m still single too (had to let him know quickly that I was available too o), no one else could do, no one else could take your place, absolutely no one. I’m so sorry for…” He placed a finger on my lips and said “shhhh.  Don’t even bring that up, it’s the past and it’s forgotten. I’m just glad you can still be mine.” I was about to die and go into the ninth heaven. This was too good to be true, I was reeling with happiness, I felt like singing a hymn, oh joy eternal. I was already seeing aso ebi, white wedding dress and a cross continental crisscrossing trip for the honeymoon. I even mentally called myself Oyin Tosh, to see how it would sound. It sounded as tush as my current name. Perfect! By the time Hot Pastor came back in, we had already exchanged the following

Phone numbers

BB Pins

My House Address and the Hotel he was staying

A kiss.

He walked me to my car and I left floating on air. On my way back home, a keke napep brushed my car, and the guy had already come down and was prostrating and begging. But no keke napep was stealing my joy. I just went back into my car and drove off, shebi the scratch was kuku very small.

Toke came by and thankfully brought Shoprite bread so I didn’t have to warm anything. We just did the bread with butter and juice. I downloaded the day’s event for her. “The same Femi that mumutised for u?” Toke asked. “You are just a foolish child, en you this Toke for bringing that up. You wan cry pass the person wey e dey pain?”

Just in case you are wondering what I’m talking about, let me explain. Mumutising is the art of you being a mumu for your partner. I have a theory that everyone mumutises at least once in life (some people do it severally, some learn sharply and never mumutise again ever, the key phrase is ‘at least once’). So I was the partner Femi mumutised with. Anyways, back to my current convo with Toke.

“Did you take any pictures with him, I wonder how he looks these days,” she said. I checked his DP on BBM. Not his picture. Toke entered espionage mode. “Shebi he’s a bestselling author. Let’s Google him. We should see some recent pictures”. I sharply powered up my laptop and did just that. Yes there were pictures o, plenty. He was really big outside Naija. There were pictures of him with celebs from all around the world. Nia Long, Tyra Banks, Serena Williams, Djimon Honsou, and many more. And he had access to all these hot hot celebs and he had come back to me. Right then, I felt like I was the fairest of them all, omo toh quality gaan. “Hmm, Oyin, this all seems too good to be true o. Hope there is nothing wrong with this guy. Abi he is gay ni”. Sparks flew in my eyes, “What kind of talk is that now? So something must be wrong with him for him to come to me? If you want to abuse me, say it plainly now, don’t use style.” Toke was taken aback by my outburst “Haba, cool down now. I’m just talking as your girl. I have to have your back and in my experience, once it seems too good to be true, it probably is.” “Okay o,” I said rolling my eyes, “I have heard you.”

We relaxed to our meal while watching American Idol. We were so engrossed in the gist and TV that I didn’t notice my BB blinking until American Idol was over. A big smile came to my face when I saw who it was. Femi. He had sent a voice note some forty minutes earlier. It went something like this “Hey babe, hope you still like wearing those lovely gowns. I’ll come by to pick you up at seven for dinner. Make me drop dead when I see you, ciao.”

Toke took the phone and played it over and over again, singing Banky W’s Omoge you too much as she did. That girl was just so silly. I checked the time. It was five thirty. Ninety long minutes before my future husband came to take me out. Mr. X, Kalu and the rest of their likes seemed like a distant past now.

Dressing me up for the date required two hands o, no be small matter. We spent thirty minutes on the internet before we picked out a look (as the bobo is used to celebs, make me sef try now) and then systematically went about transforming me into that look. By the time we were done, Toke was sweating and I was dazzling. She wasn’t going home anyways, she had clothes in her car and would just go to work from mine tomorrow. I was thankful it was a Sunday, because the housecleaner came this afternoon, the house was looking spick and sparkle. By the time we were done with preparations, it was five minutes to seven. Ten minutes later, his call came through. “I’m turning into your estate, so I’ll be at your house shortly.” “Alright boo, I’m dressed up and ready”, I replied and hung up.

Moments later, the doorbell rang. Toke went to get the door for me, while I went into the room to take one last look at myself before letting him see me. When Toke’s bbm that he was seated came in, I took a breath and stepped out. I checked for his reaction. I could tell he liked what he saw. I went to the door and opened it and struck a sexy pose “shall we? Or would you rather spend the evening looking at me?” He laughed as he stood up “that wouldn’t be such a bad idea you know?” He covered the distance between us in two strides and had his arms around me in the same movement “as tempting as that prospect is, I have something special planned for this evening, so we should get going.” Special something, something special. The words rolled in my mind and I could see him on one knee in a restaurant proposing to me tonight. I couldn’t wait.

We got to the place somewhere in Phase 1 and he led me through the restaurant, up some stairs and then to an open roof with a table for two already set, complete candles lit. The picture of him proposing to me in my head was now in high definition and 3D. We had a lovely three course meal, and talked about beautiful things, his life, my life (the good, wifely parts o, no Mr. X). We even talked about things like number of kids, type of bedroom furnishings and co. Every time his hand went below the table, I expected it to come up with a ring.

After the meal, he held my hands and looked into my eyes. I was sure this was the moment, the climax. First he asked me if I enjoyed the meal. I nodded, cat got my tongue. I could hear the drum rolls now, he would do it any moment from now.

Then he hit me with the bombshell. “You know the saying ‘Revenge is best served cold’”, he said with a twisted, sardonic smile. “So you dey find readymade husband. Your father!” he said, opening his palms at me. Then he stood up and left me there, sitting transfixed to my chair. The shock kept me pinned to the chair, motionless and speechless for some minutes. Then I called Toke “Please come and pick me up”.

Finding Hubby Episode 6

Controversy trails 2face’s donation to charity

Following 2face’s donating his traditional wedding coffee colour branded cap and shoes with the inscription “2Baba” to charity,  his fans seem to be torn in two directions as to the reason behind such move.While larger percentage of fans kept lashing out at what the heck helpless children stand to gain from his cap and shoes, others think 2face’s shoes and cap stand a chance of being priced higher by the rich. .With more negative reactions coming in, the tide seems to go contrary to the kind gesture earlier thought to have been extended to children in need by Tuface Idibia.According to criticisms that kept pouring in from fans, many  think instead of Tuface actually putting those items up for auction before giving the proceeds to charity, he should either give from his fat account or sell those items without anyone notice and then take the money to charity.

A fan simply identified as Prince Charming says “The intended cause is a good one, but the items to be sold don’t fit the profile of what should be auctioned especially in Nigeria. If it’s in the States or Europe it would be a different thing, but here? Nah! Something more rare and one of a kind would have been better, I am sorry but those items don’t fit that criteria.”Another fan who claims anonymous says “You have no understanding. The kids at the charity won’t wear them. Don’t you know how important 2baba is? Some big men would love to have his shoes or cap in a glass box for beautification and historical purposes. So, they can pay any amount. It’s that money that will go to charity.”Meanwhile, others like ejikebigger simply transferred the aggression of him not having the opportunity of attending 2face’s wedding to lash out. “Nonsense! Does donating cap change the fact that he went to Dubai so he can deny fans the chance to drink at least one bottle of coke during his wedding? Abeg(please) 2face, go and take several seats joor.”It would be recalled that, according to MD of Kaymu, 2face donated his cap and shoes to be auctioned for charity immediately he returned from Dubia, after his wedding to Annie.  The coffee color branded cap and shoe with the inscription “2Baba” is now being auctioned on Kaymu and can be won by any of 2Face’s fans through bidding.

Telecom Wars

Two weeks ago Etisalat announced that they had slashed their blackberry subscriptions..the bis was reduced from 3000 to 1500 naira per month while the bb complete plan was reduced from 1500 to 1000 naira per month both with unlimited data!
Just this morning i recieved a message from mtn tellimg me they had done the same! Unfortunately their BIS comes with 1gb data while the bbc comes with 350mb data!
it just occured to me that with the number porting saga, mobile network carriers are competing for the heart of the subscribers! its a battle and may the best "man" win!!!!

Bayern Munich 4; Barcelona 0;

I usually don't watch soccer but I happened to be watching yesterday and I was wowed! The almighty Barca was defeated! By 4 goals!!!!

Thomas Mueller gave Bayern an early lead and Mario Gomez added a second goal just after half time. Former chealse winger Arjen robben added a third goal before mueller scored his second near the match end! Barca fans are surely in tears!! Lmao!!!

Chika ike's five million naira haircut

Last week Chika ike showed us her 5 milion naira cheque for cutting her hair in a movie. Didn't want to say anything till I see pictures. Voila!!! Too much money oooo!!!! I'm jealous

Ugbogui crash survivor narrates ordeal

Two weeks ago, many families mourned, following the death of no fewer than 80 people, including 57 passengers of a commercial luxury bus, which collided with a fuel tanker in Ugbogui, on the Benin-Lagos expressway and burst into flames.

The victims were burnt beyond recognition and were given mass burial last week. However, today the family of Kenneth Chinedu Nwaokoro, a 24-year-old final year student of Information Technology of Caritas University, Enugu, who survived the accident, is rejoicing.

This lucky young man, from Imo State, was returning to Enugu to complete his final year project, after visiting his brother in Lagos. He is currently on admission at the Orthopaedic Hospital, Enugu. Narrating what happened and how he survived, Nwaokoro told Saturday Sun: “When we left the park to embark on the journey, our bus was half filled; so the driver picked passengers along the road until the bus was filled, except for the seat beside me, which I did not allow anybody to occupy. The excuse I gave was that somebody was sitting there beside because I didn’t want disturbance and more so it was illegal for them to pick passengers along the road. The journey was smooth, so I slept off. “I was sleeping when the accident happened. It was the sound of the collision that woke me up. I woke up to see the driver struggling with the steering to manoeuvre the bus, but everywhere was already on fire immediately the bus collided with the tanker and there was commotion.”

The struggle to escape: On how the passengers struggled to escape from impending death, Nwaokoro said: “People where shouting and running towards the entrance, but the door was locked. The bus was one of The Young’s new buses. There was fire everywhere and people were getting burnt. At first, I was confused, but I convinced myself that I would survive. I opened the window and jumped out. The fire burnt my back and face. On landing, I ran straight to a local hospital close to the scene of the accident, where I had to part with N2, 000 before they gave me first aid. I then contacted my younger brother, who came and took me to Enugu.” Asked if there were other passengers who escaped through the window with him, he said: “I noticed that a guy jumped after me, but he was seriously burnt.

I couldn’t wait to check him because I was burnt too and my hands were fractured.” How he bought the bus ticket Nwaokoro revealed that his name was not on the manifest of the bus because his younger sister bought the ticket for him. According to him, the sister’s name was written on the manifest (seat 23) because when it was her turn to pay for the ticket, the official of the transport company asked for her name and quickly wrote it on the ticket before verifying if she was the one travelling.

He revealed that when the ticket officer realised the mistake, she said that since she had written the name on the ticket, there was nothing she could do. The only remedy offered was to enter Nwaokoro’s phone number against his sister’s name, while his sister’s phone number was entered as next of kin.

Sister corroborates his story The lucky passenger’s younger sister, Catherine Onyinyechi Nwaokoro, said: “I went to the bus centre with him and I bought the ticket. The cashier presumed I was the one travelling and issued the ticket in my name. When I saw the mistake, I called her attention to it and she said it was late as she could not alter the ticket. She said that since the passenger was my brother he could make use of the ticket.

That was why she wrote his phone number on the passenger’s list and my own as the next of kin.” No visit from the transport company When asked if anybody from the transport company The Young, had visited him, Nwaokoro said nobody had. His elder brother, Emmanuel Nwaokoro, told Saturday Sun that he visited the company’s branch office at Jibowu, Lagos, where his brother boarded the bus and he was referred to Maza Maza, in Lagos, where the company’s head office is located.

At the head office, the elder Nwaokoro said when he told the manager that his younger brother survived the accident, he expressed surprise, saying they did not know anybody survived. “When I told the manager about my brother’s survival, he said they didn’t know that somebody survived it. He told us to come back in a week or two weeks’ time to fill insurance form and other relevant documents for compensation.”


Its so sad..one of my friends also lost his brother in the crash. Thank God this guy survived!

10 Die in Multiple Road Crashes In Delta

NO fewer than 10 persons died in a multiple accident that occurred, yesterday, at Okwe junction, Asaba on Asaba/Benin highway while several others were wounded.

As a result of the accident which occurred at about 7.30am, there was a gridlock on that stretch of the road leading to the Asaba bridge head. The obstruction was, however, cleared through efforts of men of the Federal Road Safety Commission, FRSC

An eyewitness said that the accident occurred when a trailer loaded with cement and moving towards the east allegedly lost control and rammed into an oncoming commuter bus plying Asaba/Onitsha route. The bus was mangled in the process. Two other vehicles, a Nissan car and another truck, were also affected in the crash.

When newspaper reps visited the scene of the accident, blood stains and personal effects of the victims littered the ground.

Contacted, the FRSC Public Education Officer, Mr. Julius Bassey, confirmed the incident but said only five persons died while others were rushed to the hospital.

According to him, “it was a fatal multiple accident involving four vehicles, namely Iveco truck with number plate KWA 12 XA; Mitsubishi 1300, number plate GDD 295 DXA; a Nissan Quest space-bus with number plate DX 219 FST and Dangote articulated truck with number plate SNK 77 XA.

“A total of 16 persons, comprising 12 male and four females, were involved in the multiple crash while four males and three females were injured and number of those killed were 5 males.

“The cause of the accident was break failure and the victims and corpses were taken to Federal Medical Centre, Asaba.”

president jonathan ridiculed on WWTBAM

A friend of mine just sent me this picture! Like what the h*ll!!

Finding hubby episode four

I didn’t go anywhere on Saturday, the activities of the night before had worn me out. On depressing occasions like that, I get the inspiration to write poetry. Yes, Oyin is a poet. One of these days, if you guys ask me enough, I’ll read some of my poems to you. So the day dragged on until evening when my girls came over. Gloria and I reached a compromise. I did get a guy as hot as Kalu’s Koikoi, so I could claim the iPad. But the guy turned out to be a gigolo(ewww) so she could claim my shoes. So I wasn’t going to get the iPad, as long as she didn’t come within a one meter radius of my shoes (like that would happen in this lifetime and beyond). They basically did what they came for – Eat my food, drink my wine, scatter my house, talk about men, abuse men, long for men, and leave with my stuff. And oh yes, Gloria left with my shoes. See en, people that come to your house and do all the things I listed above are your true closest friends. I went to bed with my spirit considerably lifted when my friends had left. The alcohol of course helped a little. Okay, more than a little, wink wink.

I went to bed after watching some episodes of Spartacus Blood and Sand. I don’t know why, but I have a thing for that series. One of my favorite Naija songs right now even references it “Jide Kosoko, shay o le fi shay Spartacus, Jor oooo”, lmao.

I woke up on Sunday morning with a sense of expectation. I always feel really close to God on Sundays and I excitedly went about getting prepared for church. Light breakfast of toast and tea. Then it was time to get dressed for church. Now you might say I’m vain, but if you go to my church, you had better reeeeaaallly get dressed for church. The hottest, the latest, the sharpest, the cream de la cream of my cream axis attended my church. And you never know if you’ll meet the one so as a scout, I had to be prepared. Anyways, where better to meet him than church. So I put on a Tiffany Amber dress and a pair of Prada shoes and Prada bag to match and completed the look with a scarf and sunshades. I decided to do the cloudy eyed eyeshadow I saw on the style network during the week and did the Angelina Jolie lipstick thingy. I took a look at my creation in the mirror and I said like the Lord, it is good, alleluia.

Church service was going well and I was in the spirit, while surveying the pews for any particularly husbandable man (a good hunter is always alert). Then the senior pastor of our church (who I wouldn’t have minded marrying, he’s much too much) came up to welcome first timers. Time for the handshakes and plastic church smiles to come out. “I want to specially recognize a dear friend of my family,” Hot Pastor was saying. “He is a multiple award winning and bestselling author, and his last book, The Epic, is currently being adapted into a movie in Hollywood. Please join me in welcoming my brother from another mother, Femi Tosh.” I scrambled to look in the direction where Hot Pastor’s friend was standing up from. And then I saw him. Tosh was just the short form for Omotosho. Femi Omotosho. Oh my God. My heart did multiple flips upon seeing him, but I was not seated close enough to him to give him a handshake or smile.

Before you start thinking I’m some desperado who wants to donate smiles and handshake and flipping hearts to every man that is a visitor in my church, let me give you a short history on Femi Omotosho. Fresh from my Masters in my mid twenties, I met him. Femi was every lady’s dream, suave dresser, smooth talker and held down a bank job. But that was before you started dating him o. You discovered then that he was from a poor background, all his money went into supporting his family and pursuing his dreams. Nothing for you to even be a babe. It was a hard pill for me to swallow but I tried to stick with Femi. Back then, I didn’t have the high paying job I have now, so I depended on Femi, but as he was so focused on family and dreams, he couldn’t give me the trips around the world, and all the nice things a fine girl like me required. So I left him. Okay, let me be truthful, I threw tantrums, said all sorts of cruel things to him and about him and then left him. Barely a year after I left him, his first book won the NLNG award and he got two hundred thousand dollars. The rest is history, he left the country, won more awards, and became a part of my past I regretted and forgot. Now, having him in my church, looking so smashing, successful and every woman’s dream brought all the regrets I had been trying to bury to the surface. I did a quick scan of his left hand, no ring. So he wasn’t married. I had to find a way to meet him at the end of the service.

For the rest of the service, I heard nothing. My mind was in a far away place, imagining what could have been with him. I’d be travelling the world now, going for Hollywood events and probably nursing a little Femi now. The service seemed to last an eternity, it took so long to end. When it was announcement time and the deacon who liked the sound of his own voice over the sound system climbed the stage, I let out a few words I hoped no resident angels in our church heard. He droned for longer than he should until a not so hot pastor came to stand beside him. He got the cue and rounded off his droning. If eyes could kill en, the deacon would have fallen dead with the way I looked at him. All the while, my eyes never left where Femi was (yes, I can look at two places at the same time).

Service finally ended and I saw ushers leading Femi towards Hot Pastor’s office. By the time I got there, he had already gone into the office. I contemplated waiting for him to come out, but that would be too easy to see through. Femi has a way with words, and knowing him, he would make me look very silly right there (not like he didn’t have a right to sha). Thankfully, I was Hot Pastor’s personal convert so I had access to his office. I went through the mill of waiting faithful. The ushers who looked more like the bouncers I saw at Marquee on Friday night knew me and let me go in. I knocked on Hot Pastor’s door and his rich voice came from inside the room “Please come in”. I took a deep breath and muttered under my breath “here goes nothing” and then opened the big door.

He was seated facing the pastor, with his back towards the door so he didn’t see me come in. I was glad about that because I had the time to gather myself together. Hot Pastor got up and came round his desk to hug me “Miss Clegg,” he was saying “it’s been a while.” Femi’s eyes followed Hot Pastor around and then fell on me. He looked shocked “Oyin!” he exclaimed.

Hot Pastor looked from him to me and then back “you know each other?” “Very well,” Femi responded with meaning. You know what knowing a woman means in bible terms. My mind went back to when Femi knew me. I said with more calmness than I felt “Long time no see Femi, how have you been?” “Very well, thank you. And I don’t need to ask how you’ve been, my eyes tell me,” he responded. Hot Pastor clapped me on the back playfully, “small world”, he said “Femi is like a brother.” Either Hot Pastor was blind or he chose to ignore the tension that was in the room. He continued “I need to quickly address the deacons; I’ll leave you two to catch up on old times. I’m sure there’ll be loads to talk about while I’m gone”. He was leaving me alone with Femi. This was what I wanted, but a fear crept into my heart. What would Femi say to me when we were alone? I felt like running after Hot Pastor, as he shut the door behind him.

Dats all for the weekend, episode 5 returns on friday!!

finding hubby episode three

Finding hubby episode two

Imo state Governor, Rochas Okorocha flown abroad for medical treatment after sustaining head injuries in auto crash

Mr. Okorocha was on his way to inspect projects in the state when a Mercedes Saloon car ran into his motorcade. In a statement issued, Saturday, Chinedu Offor, the Commissioner for Information, Culture, and Tourism, stated that the state governor had completed his scan and his doctors announced that there was no internal bleeding, fracture of the skull, swelling, or vision problems.

"The head is still sore but, he just needs to rest his head," the statement said.


"His Excellency genuinely appreciates the prayers and concerns of all Nigerians and Imolites. He says that he would be back to the country soon to continue his work," it added.

Mr. Okorocha sustained injuries in the accident along Owerri-Orlu road and was first treated at St. Mary's Children & Community Hospital, Umuowa, before he was flown abroad. br />

Who Rocked it Better: Karen, Chealsea or Moet

The infamous dress on the red carpet!!! First Karen Igho and Moet abebe wore it to the same event! Now its chelsea Eze!

I definitely think Karen rocked the look best! Who dyu think???

Finding Hubby Episode Three

Gloria sent me a bbm that they were leaving The Marquee for Aura. It read “Off to Aura. Enjoy en, and be ready to spill all the details. You’ve gotten the iPad, but I’ll still get dem shoes. #bbdevilsmiley#”. Ha! I was so keeping my shoes in some bank vault. But I knew it was an effort in futility, cos if Gloria wanted them, she would organize a bank heist to get them. So I was going to tow the line of making available to her anytime she needed them, so that I didn’t lose the shoes altogether.

Anyways, back to the present. I was enjoying all the shaking what my mama gave me and movement with Mr. X. Men, the guy could really move and he had a way of working me into the most desirable positions for body melding dancing.

The d-jay had done a good job of whipping the whole club into a frenzy and now we were getting doses of Terry G and all the Naija ginger movement boys. Visions of the expertise with which he could handle my body raced through my mind and I worked fervently hard to make sure I gave him enough reason to want to. Kalu and Koikoi could go and hug a transformer for all I cared. After what seemed like hours of rollercoaster dancing, he finally put his arms firmly around me and led me towards the hall, and then the exit. Hmmm, a man that was sure of himself and took what he wanted. I was liking Mr. X more and more. In the elevator ride down, I could feel his eyes racing all over my body with intensity and his hands went into his pocket. I could guess what he was trying to hide and I was glad I was having that effect on him.

You know the saying that goes “We guess some people are foolish when they keep quiet, but they remove all doubt the moment they open their mouths”?  I’m sure he had heard the saying before and made that his watchword. When we got downstairs, he spoke “Aunty, before I go on and enter the car park with you, we need to discuss price.” That’s how I would have said it. This is actually how he said it “Haunty, before Hi go Hon Hand Henter the car park with you, we need to dilscuss price”. Oh my God! He sounded like he was acting out a scene from Jennifer. That must be the worst H factor I’ve ever heard. And to cap it all, he thought I was a call girl. Oyinomalicha, you have suffered in this your life. See en, I can live with most things, but a man with an H factor is just a no no, a total turn off. Calmly, I answered “I’m not up for sale. There’s no need to discuss a price for anything.” He smiled, and looking at his face now, I wondered what I was attracted to in the first place (bad belle on my part o, he is damn fine). “Madam, I was not talking about price for taking you home. I’m talking about the price you have to pay for me going home with you and servicing you for the night. I thought you knew the way things are now.”

I nearly died where I was standing. He was a gigolo. This nonsense man finished looking at me and I looked like someone who could not get a man without paying for one. A thousand concentrated Yoruba curses raced into my head, but I refused to say a word. I just turned and began walking away when he grabbed me by the arm. “You can’t just go like that now, I gave you a good part of my night when I could have been pursuing other clients. You have to settle me.” I couldn’t believe what was happening. I don’t know which shocked me more, what he was saying, or the fact that he dared to lay his hands on me (forget that I had been dreaming of having those hands on discreet parts of my anatomy for most of the night). Those curses I had done well to keep sealed away came rushing out and the Yoruba girl in me shot to the surface “Oloshi, oloriburuku, e.t.c.” He held me menacingly and I was sure he was going to hurt me. I was in serious trouble.

Be nice to people, okay, cos you never know when they will come in handy. The guys that parked our cars at the Marquee who knew me well (I am generous, wink wink) came to my rescue. When Mr. X saw that he was outnumbered, he stepped away, waving a finger at me as he backed away and then pruned himself and went back into the club.

“When I see you with am, I been dey wonder o”, one of them was saying to me. “She no sabi their type”, another one said. “Na true, she no be like the type wey dey use those dirty boys,” a third chipped in. They followed me to my car, saying they wanted to make sure I was safe. But I understood them well, so I parted with one thousand naira as I entered the car amid chants of “madam the madam”. I had had enough for the night. All I wanted to do was get home, scrub myself clean of all the events of the night and curl up in bed. I’m tired of this Lagos sef. I think I need a vacation, Miami, beaches and bikinis. I sent Toke a voice note with the gist of Mr. X and headed for home. I knew she would probably not see and listen to it till morning and that was fine by me. I was not in the mood to talk to anyone tonight.

Boston Marathon Bombings suspect number 2 captured!

Police are reporting the suspect is now in custody.Police are swarming to a Watertown, MA neighborhood where suspect #2 Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is believed to be cornered, and dozens of gunshots have been fired.At least 20 to 30 shots rang out in the Boston suburb where police seem to have finally caught up with the 19-year-old Boston Marathon bombing suspect.Police have been searching all day for Dzhokhar ever since the gun battle last night, also in Watertown ... in which his brother Tamerlan Tsarnaev was shot and killed.According to TV reports ... Dzhokhar is still alive on a boat in a backyard, and surrounded by police.

Finding Hubby Episode two

I quickly gathered myself together and smiled very charmingly, hoping to disarm him. “Hi Kalu”, I said. I was expecting him to go into a series of questions accusing me of lying to him and all, when she came up to him. Inside my inner mind, green envy began to sprout. Her skin was clear like she had someone following her around photoshopping her with each step she took. Abeg, when I see person wey pass me, I admit it. The girl was the kind that entered a room and all the men in the room stopped seeing every other girl in the room and became puppies all around her. She was addressing Kalu now, “Boo, I told you to hold up, I just had to say hi to my friend now”. The confirmation that Koikoi (yes, I gave her a name) was with Kalu and they were obviously intimate made the green monster in my heart leap. I felt a strong urge to punch him in the face, but I respected myself. Why anyway? What claim did I really have to Kalu?

The saying that something becomes more desirable when it’s not yours hit me square in the face. It was even more painful when I realized I was just “one of the options” Kalu had for the night. Then it dawned on me; Kalu had done the phone select, and I was one of the options that didn’t work for that Friday night. The saying, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you” is true o, cos now that I was on the receiving end, e pain me die.

Kalu quickly did the introductions, and I could see a look in his eyes I suspected was gloating. “Oyin Clegg, my friend,” he said pointing at me while facing her and then turning to face me, he said with meaning “My special friend, Tara Cole”. Ha! Even her name was finer than my own. My night was firmly on the path of depression. They breezed past us towards the spiral steps leading to the elevator, as Kalu said coolly “Enjoy your night girls, and if you’re having any trouble enjoying yours, we’d be glad to help.”

Once they were out of earshot, Toke began laughing stupidly. “Is that the ‘clingy’ Kalu?” she asked sarcastically. “If you don’t leave me en, I will deal with you. Man or no man, we’re grooving tonight and that’s it. I can get a man in this club as easily as Kalu could get another woman jor”. Trust my friends to latch in on something like that. Gloria raised her eyebrow “You get the iPad 3 Alvin is sending next week if you can get someone as hot as the girl Kalu had with him”. I decided to play stupid “Are you suggesting I swing the other way and get a girl instead of a man?” Gloria slapped my butt playfully “You are just an ode. I meant a man with the same degree of hotness as that girl.” I gave it a brief thought. “Okay, it’s a deal. I’ll have to ditch you girls at some point sha o.” We went through the hall to the open balcony and then chose our seats carefully. If you were a girl and hunting, the best place to seat was right in front of the bar. From there, you could see the door and all that came through. The big boys didn’t stay inside the packed hall, they came to the balcony to lounge. So any man worth the while of a Lekki big girl like me would be coming through this door. You could also see if he was in company of some Koikoi kinda girl or alone. Plus seating at the bar meant you could see the ones that had come in before you if they came to order their drinks. You could also gauge them by the size of the bills they came to pay for their drinks from where you sat. So we took the seat.

We were seated, chatting and waiting for our drinks, when it dawned on me. “Gloria, mad babe. You didn’t say what you would be having if I didn’t win the wager, (Like that could happen with Her Royal Hotness like me).” Gloria smiled like a wolf. “Those your Jimmy Choo shoes”. “Ole,” I shouted. “You have been coveting those shoes since the first day you saw them. Lai lai.” My BB vibrated and I picked it from the table to check the message that had come in at that time of the night. It was Kalu gloating, the eran nme. “I hope the hen night is going very well at your house? Hope y’all are going gingi. #bbmrollingonthefloorlaughing smiley.” Then he sent a picture of himself and koikoi kissing passionately in his car with the caption “see what you’re missing”. I was so angry I dumped the BB with a thud. My friends were already curious and dove for my BB without asking. They quickly scrolled through the message and began hissing “this guy is a monkey, this guy is a cow, this guy is (insert any animal name of your choice here)”. While they were engrossed in the BB, we all indulged in calling Kalu all sorts of names. The drinks began to flow and the gist became loser and loser.

Thankfully, I could talk and hunt at the same time. Else I would have missed him. Lord have mercy on your daughter, but if I was Eve and he was the apple, I’d eat him up over and over again and damn every consequence. He was fiiiiiiiiiine. If he passed me too closely I’d begin to breathe heavily. Clean shaven face under a clean shaven head just like I liked them. He was taller than everyone else around him and had chosen to wear a t-shirt that flaunted his muscles. I didn’t mind o, if he got em, he should flaunt em. He reeked of hotness and sensuality and I was hoping I wasn’t drooling now. My friends followed my eyes as did every other set of female eyes there and I could see the thoughts running through their heads were more impure than mine. “If I could hear your thoughts now, I’m sure I’d send you straight to have your insides washed with bleach.” We all laughed and then I continued “I’m sure we all agree that he fits the bill for Gloria and I’s wager.” They both nodded. “Na wa o, he got your tongues? Anyways,” I said, standing up and checking everything to make sure the packaging was done right “iPad 3, here I come!” I did a test shake of the booty “How am I doing back there,” I asked. Toke slapped my butt and said “silly girl. Get out of here nd don’t come back empty handed.

I had not taken three steps away from my friends when I felt him (I didn’t need to see him o, as a hunter that I am, I don’t rely on only my sense of sight). I turned to him and smiled my most sexy smile and cooed “Hello, can we dance?” He didn’t say a word. Hmmm. The cool, few words type. Me likey! He just walked up to me and put his arms around me as if he had possessed me for a long time. I snuggled and shot a glance back at Toke and Gloria. They looked on, wide-eyed. He led me to a corner where there were no tables and as if on cue, the d-jay began to play Waje’s “Can I be your girl for a minute”. The whining and grinding was something else. And could the dude move. I asked if I could take a picture. He nodded yes. I put my booty outrageously close to his crotch and took a picture with my BB. I sent the picture first to Gloria with the caption “One iPad 3 coming up.” Then I sent the same picture to Kalu with the caption, “Missing what?”



Lmao! Hahahaha!!! Oyin just knows how to get back at them guys!! Episode three would be posted tomorrow...Same time

Finding Hubby Episode 3

Meet Yung Tite: The Artiste That Keeps us Yearning For More

He is 23 year old Chidi Nnadi from Imo State. Yung Tite was born in Yaonde, Cameroon but grew up with his parents in ikeja, Lagos state. Chidi grew up with the love of music as his dad played the acoustic guitar and his mum was a chorister.


Yungtite picked up interest in music in a senior secondary school where a five-man group was formed and called "T-Reks". 'T' Stood for "Tite man". They were heavily inspired by RAP acts like Dr. Dre, Eminem, Nas, The Game and locally by Tribes Men, 2Face, Modenine and Choc Boys at the latter end. After Secondary School most they all went their separate ways but his fire for music waxed stronger and stronger and now he is united with one of the five, PROLIFIC


His first single, Jam It (Feat Yucee J) was released in 2009 and was loved dearly by the student community. Infact, most of them called Him "Jam it" instead of TITE. However, his major hindrance was quality.

Late 2011, He teamed up with renowned producer Cally and laced another smash single "Uncle Dem" which was released online temporarily but was retracted because they needed a stronger platform to promote it. It will be re-released officially soon.

Laybach (Like A Beach Chair) was produced by Yungtite, mixed and mastered by Cally in 2013 and has received good reception in the media world. Its on top sites like Flytimetv.com, Tayotv.com, Miabaga.com and a myriad of other blogs and is getting massive airplay radio stations in Abuja, Enugu and Lagos.

Yungtite is a professional Vocalist and a Producer and has worked with industry names like Ojb Jezreel, Foster Zeeno, Pamela, Emmsong and a host of others.

He believes in concious music and positivity. A big fan of Eldee, 2Face, Eva and internationally, Frank Ocean. He's not currently signed to any label.

Personally, I listened to one of his songs and my mind was blown! Damn!! The guy is phucking talented.( I think I'm in love). below is the link to download his hit single "Laybach(like a beach chair)"

http://flytimetv.com/site/viewItem/music/laybach-like-a-beach-chair-yung-tite

50 Cent, Mark Wahlberg defend,advise Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber has a pair of major celebrities in his corner.

At last night's premiere of Pain and Gain, both 50 Cent and Mark Wahlberg responded to the controversy surrounding Bieber and his recent Anne Frank comments, with the rapper echoing the sentiment that has landed Bieber in trouble:

Bieber recently stopped by the Anne Frank house on friday(April 12th), touring the Amsterdam hiding place of the Late Anne Frank(holocaust victim and diarist). But it wasn't his appearance that got people talking, it was his comments! According to the Anne Frank House's facebook page, Bieber- who is now on the European leg of his Believe Tour left a message in the museum's guestbook writng "Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl, hopefully she would have been a belieber".

"She probably would have been [a belieber]," Fifty said of the Holocaust victim.



Wahlberg, meanwhile, thinks JB just needs a break.

"I think it's best to put down the phone and Twitter and all that stuff, and just be a little more low-key right now," the actor said. "Because they're watching every move he makes, everything he says, and less is more. Go take a vacation."

This advice comes on the heels of Bieber Tweeting an odd cartoon photo of himself and a fan in bed.

He really might wanna turn the phone and computer off for awhile.

BREAKING NEWS: EXPLOSION IN TEXAS, 2 PEOPLE KILLED

Just minutes ago, an explosion went off at a fertiliser plant near Waco in Texas. The explosion killed at least two people and and left over a hundred injured. Also a nursing home near the area of the explosion was damaged...the texas police have said they are going house to house to determine the casualties and would notify the media when they are done.

YVONNE NELSON'S BOOBS CAUSES UPROAR

The highly controversial Ghanaian actress, Yvonne Nelson, had more than what she bargained for the other day she posted a promo shot picture of her upcoming movie,‘House Of Gold’ on her Instagram. Few seconds after the posting, her fans, all over the world, started making some nasty comments. The picture truly displays her two pins sticking out, and one of the comments refers to her oranges as headlights, Epic Fail etc. Yvonne Nelson, obviously irritated by the comments was quick to respond asking what the big deal was ‘And that’s all you looking at right???. Epic fail???? Really??? U are funny' Lmao!! Trust my africans, always ready to attack!! So sorry yvonne.

Nicki Minaj: our unspoken thoughts

I came across this photo somewhere on the net and i thought i should share with my lovely readers.

Nicki allegedly did a cover for the king magazine. i really cant say if this picture is photoshopped or real but if it is real what can we actually say about it. lots of celebrities pose nude for magazines but as far as ive seen the kinda conceal the privates but our dear nicki has bared it all for the public!

Tell me what you think...Trendy or Trashy??? Drop your comments below

Late Lady Margaret Thatcher to be buried today

The former prime minister of England, Lady Margaret Thatcher who passed away early this month would be laid to rest today(17th April 2013). Many have been rejoicing over her passing while some are actually mourning. As it is, not everyone was happy with her while she was prime minister. The london police have said they would respect the people's right to protest today but they would make sure there's no violence involved.

Etisalat's BB complete plan now 1000 naira!!!!

The O809ja's have done it again! Just this morning etisalat(@etisalat_9ja) tweeted: "Breaking news: Etisalat FULL BIS is now N1000!! *we repeat* FULL BIS=N1000 #TeamEtisalat". This BIS package they say, includes unlimited data, one web based email, one blackberry email, social networks, and blackberry app world. The other package which is the BB absolute has also been slashed to 1500 naira and it also incudes unlimited data and up to 10 web based email accounts! With this new development we hope other networks trace the pace etisalat has set! Kudos to etisalat!

Jay Z and Beyonce join Billionaire's club

Beyonce’s earnings from her new deal with H&M have helped her and husband Jay-Z join the billionaire club. The 31-year-old singer was made the face and body of H and M’s summer bikini collection as she prepared to take in about 115 million dollars from her tour. According to the insider, the windfalls have helped the couple become pop’s first billionaire dollar couple, the Daily star reported. Beyonce reportedly now brings in more money than her rapper husband Jay-Z, 43, together the couple are now worth 1 billion dollars

STYLE: Hairstyles for round faces

It is important to get the basics right! When it comes to hairstyles for round faces, there are a few things to keep in mind when styling. Parts A side part with a sweeping fringe is the traditional recommendation for round faces. It is so feminine and it adds more dimension to the face with the different angles A centre part can work well – it creates a balance between the roundness of the cheeks and the hairline. Fringes Side swept, longer bangs is the standard advice given to round faces because they add dimension as well as flatter the face shape. Round faces have always been warned off the straight bangs. However these need not be totally off limits – they just need to be a bit choppy at the ends, finishing just before they hit your eyes, and not too full. Long Texturising and layering, slimming down hair round the face looks great – it reduces bulkiness around the face, allowing the face shape to shine! Long layers are the perfect compliment – so sweeping and feminine! Short A really great style is one that is a little shorter at the back and a little longer at the front, hitting between the chin and the shoulder. This is a sexy, edgy look, with a great contrast between the face shape and hairline. One thing to avoid with short hair is rounded bobs sitting at chin level – you are not doing yourself justice with this hairstyle! Try growing it out a little to have it sitting a little lower, and getting the sides trimmed so there is less roundedness. Curls Loose, sweeping curls are hot! Avoid tight ringlets round the face – these just add bulk. Keep them full around shoulder height and lower, and loose the bulk around the cheeks and you will have one sexy head! Straight If you have a round face and straight hair, I bet you have despaired at times, as straight hair has often been told it is ‘too severe’ for round faces. Well, I disagree – you can certainly make straight hair work for you! Adding layers, shifting the part and going for asymmetric styles is where its at! Because round faces by nature very symmetrical in shape from all angles, they are complimented by asymmetric styles, regardless of whether they are curly or straight. In an up-do Have the hair fuller at the crown, and close to the head around the ear and cheek level. This balances the hair and face shape nicely. Conversely, avoid volume at the sides – this will not do your face justice! For something more casual, if you have a couple of waves in your hair, tie it in a loose, slightly tossled, low side bun. This is such a sexy look – the loose waves create a gentle look, and the low bun gives a nice balance! To make this style a little more striking, get a couple of bobby-pins and loosely pin the top half of your hair in the middle at the back, pushing the bobby’s upward to add height. Then grab the rest and make the same bun. Culled from Amazon.com

Botched lagos Wedding:" Akiyesi lied to us"- Overcomers

Shortly after the uproar caused by Lilian Akiyesi who stormed the Overcomers Church World Outreach in Aguda, Surulere, Lagos on Saturday, April 13 to stop a wedding service about to make her husband Solomon Akiyesi and Ms Uloma Agwu man and wife, Overcomers church released a statement signed by Chika Moses a media representative of the church partly condemning Lilian’s actions. The statement reads… “What was meant to be a day of celebration – the wedding ceremony of one of our members Uloma Agwu to Mr. Solomon Akiyesi at the Overcomers Church World Outreach in Aguda – was sullied by an ugly incident. Immediately following the praise and worship session and before the officiating commenced, a woman who claims to be the lawful wife of the groom disrupted the ceremony. She was accompanied by people who sought only to wreck havoc in the church. They were unruly and violent. “We regret the ugly series of events that followed this brash display. At the Overcomers Church, we do our due diligence to ensure a couple set to wed is right in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. To the best of our knowledge, Mr. Akiyesi, was unmarried. “The Overcomers Church World Outreach regrets that the woman who disrupted the wedding chose such a time to do so. There is no ideal situation here, but it would have been right that she bring the case before church officials in a manner befitting a house of worship. This was not the case. “The groom, Mr. Akiyesi, has apologized to the Church, his bride-to-be, Ms. Agwu, and family and friends that gathered for the wedding. “This happened because I tried to cut corners,” he said. He admits he did not properly dissolve his previous marriage to his first wife and says he is determined to do what is necessary to rectify the awful situation. We apologize for the ugly scene this caused at our Church and apologize to those who witnessed it. It is not exemplary behavior and not who we are as a Church. “The General Overseer of the Overcomers Church World Outreach, Bishop N.E. Moses, addressed the congregation after order was restor

Studies show wearing a bra could hinder breast health

Women who go braless may actually be better off health wise, if results of a 15-year study in France are anything to go by. The brand new study shows that brassieres (bras) provide virtually no benefits to breasts and, on the contrary, may actually be harmful to breasts over time. Researchers spent all this time studying the breasts of over 330 French women, and concluded that wearing a bra does not prevent sagging or ease back pain as commonly thought and even warned that breasts do get saggier with a bra. Taking measurements with a caliper, the researchers found that by not wearing a bra, muscles around the breast actually strengthened and the nipple 7 mm per year toward the shoulder. However, they did not recommend all women abandon their bras since their muscles had probably already degraded. According to Jean-Denis Rouillon, a professor at the University of Franche-Comté in Besançon, “Medically, physiologically, anatomically, the breast does not benefit from being deprived of gravity.” In the study conducted at the university’s hospital, Rouillon and others measured and examined the breasts of more than 300 women, aged 18 and 35, taking note of how the additional support provided by bras affects the body over time. (It should be noted the study does not mention breast size.) Overall, they found that women who did not use bras benefited in the long term, as they developed more muscle tissue to provide natural support. They noticed that in women who went braless, the nipples gained a higher lift, in relation to the shoulders. When bras are worn, the restrictive material prevents such tissue from growing, which may actually accelerate sagging, the study concluded. A 28-year-old woman, who participated in the research, found that she breathes easier without the constraints of a bra. Initially, she was a little reluctant to the idea of running without a bra, but got started and after five minutes, had no trouble at all. Despite the findings, the researchers said it would be dangerous to advise all women to take off their bras based on the study’s sample, which may not be representative of the population. They cautioned women who have worn bras for a long time — several decades — from following the recommendation since they would not benefit from taking off their bras now. Nevertheless, being braless is still largely seen as the exception rather than the rule and most ladies may not be as ready to throw away their bras just yet. While going braless is fast becoming politically correct and fashionable, the undergarment industry has continued to come up with increasingly structured and expensive designs, raking up to $11 billion revenue every year according to Business Week.

Boston Marathon Bombings: three reported Dead!

Reports have surfaced that two bombs went off at the Boston Marathon finish line, leaving dozens seriously injured, according to the Boston Globe, and three have been reported dead, according to Fox. According to Sky News, someone could be heard saying, "My God they're dead" in footage. Inquisitr reports: "The Boston Marathon explosions reportedly did not take place simultaneously. One witness associated with the race stated that dozens of people have been seriously injured. During the live news footage, a man can be heard saying, 'All my God … they are dead' when looking about victims beneath a barrier." Blogger Emily Zanotti tweeted of the explosions and reported death count, "Three dead so far, likely more. Hit at a time when Boston reports largest number of runners crossing finish line."

Psy's new video for "the gentleman" hits You Tube

Do you have your dancing shoes on?

The anticipated follow-up to Psy's ultra catchy "Gangnam style" was already out in audio form, but now the video for "the gentleman" is up on You Tube, which only means there's a new dance routine that needs to be memorised and perfectly executed for your next visit to the club.
 Luckily, this choreography is much simpler. Its less hoppity hop and more smooth hip sways. Yea its very sensual. There's a couple of pelvic thrusts here and there and some jumping(its psy after all, what did we expect?)

 The choreography for the gentleman was unveiled at a concert in Seoul on saturday in front of over 50,000 fans! "I can't tell you much about the dance but koreans know it" the rapper told a local T.V station on Friday "But those in other countries haven't seen it".

 Trust me, I no dey carry last, I'm off to youtube now!

Finding Hubby episode 1

My name is Oyinkasola Olaitan Clegg. I am a lady. I am 35.  I am single. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. But I have had to say this either verbally or otherwise to so many people in the course of the last few years that sometimes I begin to wonder if there’s really nothing wrong with me. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t come and tell me “you are not married Oyin, something must be wrong with you” no, they would never do that. But say it, they did, loud and clear. Let me not bore you with those parts of my life.
As a background, I am a good looking Yoruba girl, well shaped the way African men like their women, with flesh in the right places. I have a first degree from the University of Lagos and a Masters Degree from the University College, London. I am tush, fresh and a high flyer. I even have the dream job, a CSR person in an oil firm. And I like to live life to its fullest. These are the stories of my encounters, escapades and experiences as I search for the man who will leave his family and cleave to me. Who will love me forever. Who will make my life eternal bliss. Okay, okay, okay, I am doing it again. I tend to project the stories I read into life. Never mind, I am old enough to know that stories are just that, stories.
Its Friday night. And when you say that in Lagos social circles, it could only mean one thing; ditch the suits and let the short dresses, body hugging jeans and bust enhancing tops come forth. And so I called up my friends Toke and Gloria and we agreed to meet up at Mega Plaza to start the night with some chips and seafood. I shutdown at five O Clock and drove straight home to my apartment in Carlton Gate Estate in Lekki. Inside the house, I flopped into my couch and turned on my companion at home, my TV. Now pardon me, but I wonder how life must have been before the TV. If I was lost on an island and I could take only one item along, it had to be either my BB or my TV (see how we have a knack for reducing things to two letter words).
As I settled in to rest in reserve for the long night ahead, my phone rang.  I glanced at the screen to confirm who it was. It was just Kalu. I was hoping it would be somebody else. I had been ignoring bb messages from him all day and I guess he calculated I’d be off work now and decided to call. Okay, a little background on him. I am 35 and single (I know I’ve said it before but I need to re-emphasize) so when I really need to get some and there’s no serious person around, I do the phone select. Here’s how it’s done. You pick your phone and scroll through your contacts list and eliminate men based on certain criteria. What you want is a no strings attached person who will not interpret a night together as an invitation to a long term relationship. So you cancel out the fervent toasters, the guys who have been having settling down conversations with you (considering you didn’t consider them settling down material and latch on all the while you’ve been having such conversations) and other such over-serious people. By now, you’ve narrowed the list down. Then you eliminate those who are in places so far it requires too much effort to see. I stay in Lekki, so if you stay in places like Ipaja, Ikorodu and the likes, I ex you from the list. Now I have a probable list. Then I go into the fineries of history together, attraction and settle on a few options. I then put a call through to the best option of the lot and drop a few hints. If he catches on, game on. If he doesn’t, I round the conversation off and move on to the next until I hit jackpot. This was the rigorous screening process I had put Kalu through, but we get wrong sometimes. I was very wrong with Kalu. After the night together (that’s a story for another day), he became all he wasn’t meant to be. Clingy, intrusive and needy.  
Anyways, back to the present. I picked the call and the conversation went something like this
Kalu: Hey Princess
Me: Kalu, whatsup (I called him his name, he should get the message) Kalu: You haven’t responded to my messages all day
Me: I’ve had a full day.

Kalu: But you read all the messages, it said R here. You could have sent a small message. Anyways, you said had, so your workday is over. Are you going out?

Me: (Warning bells, anything I say now will have Kalu trying to be a part of whatever plans) Yes. I’m home now. No I’m not going out, I have a wedding tomorrow and want to rest
Kalu: Okay, I’ll buy dinner and come over.
Me: (Alarm bells) Thanks for the offer Kalu, but the girls are using my pad for a Hen night for the bride to be.
Kalu: (sighs). Okay, I’ll see you after the wedding tomorrow.
Me: Call me before heading o.
Kalu: Goodnight love
Me: Ciao.

Whew. That was close. Quick thinking, quick lying saved the day. Now to rest and get ready for the night out. At 9:45, I was ready to go out. I was hot, hot, hot. In fact, I was so hot, I was burnt and roasted, lol. I said the spinster’s prayer and stepped out of the house. I hooked up with my girls at Mega Plaza. If you haven’t tried the chips and sea food there, then you are a weist! We shared two plates and by then, it was eleven O clock. We touched up and smiled past the bouncers, very glad with the effect we saw our collective hotness was having (you notice babes look finer as a group than alone) We took the elevator and then the small flight of stairs up into The Marquee. Lagos sha. People that were at work complaining of tiredness a few hours ago at work were here grooving away. As I was stepping in, someone bumped into me on his way out. I was about to give the person “bad eye” when our eyes met. I felt like entering the ground. It was Kalu.

Lol. I know y'all are itching to read the next episode

Finding Hubby Episode two

Finding hubby

Hey y'all coming this weekend is finding hubby, a series written by Tunde Leye. The stories follow a Lagos borne chic Oyinkasola clegg and her adventuorous journey to finding Mr Right! Stay tuned cos imma be posting the first episode in a jiffy and the second episode would be posted on friday!!